I wonder if Morgan the Pirate, When plunder had glutted his heart, Gave part of the junk from his ships he had sunk To help some Museum of Art; If he gave up the role of “collector of toll” And became a Collector of Art?

I wonder if Genghis the Butcher, When he’d trampled down nations like grass. Retired with his share when he’d lost all his hair, And started a Sunday school class; If he turned his past under and used half his plunder In running a Sunday school class?

I wonder if Roger the Rover, When millions in looting he made, Built libraries grand on the jolly mainland To honor Success and “free trade;” If he founded a college of natural knowledge Where Pirates could study their trade?

I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, If Pirates were ever the same, Ever trying to lend a respectable trend To the jaunty old buccaneer game; Or is it because of our Piracy Laws That philanthropists enter the game?

—Wallace Irwin, in Life. – reprinted in The Painter and Decorator, a union journal, 1907